(Vita) Q*Bert Rebooted review

An embarrassing revival for one of gaming’s classic characters that manages to botch just above everything, save for a competent port of the original game.

Developer	Gonzo Games; Sideline Amusements; Loot Interactive
Publisher	Loot Interactive
Franchise	Q*Bert
Genre	Puzzle
PSTV	No
Physical English	No

 

World-building & Story

Q*Bert Rebooted follows the titular elephant-esque alien thing as he leaps around blocks and changes their colour. There’s really nothing else to say here – it’s based on an old arcade title so story is minimal and there’s no real world built, just a set of levels.

 

Presentation & Sound

Graphics are probably the least offensive thing about Q*Bert Rebooted, going for a generic mobile-esque look that neither impresses nor disappoints. Sound is more frustrating, but overall the presentational package is uninspired but at least isn’t terrible.

Q*Bert and the various creatures he’ll encounter ranging from coiled snakes to mischievous living flames are designed to be like cartoon characters, with exaggerated features and goofy animations. This works pretty well within the context of the colourful, manic levels that feature rainbow splashes of colour everywhere, giving the game a ‘larger than life’ feel.

Sadly aside from their use of colour, the environments are incredibly drab – just minor variations on the same basic design that look samey after the third level, let alone the thirtieth. A basic UI that highlights the stars you’ve collected and a horribly generic space background on the level select screen serve to further drag the package down – it’s never bad, just so un-creative and bland.

Sound is an even worse offender – music repeats over and over which would be fine if it was any good, but it isn’t. Sound effects are drab too and although there’s nostalgic re-use of things like Q*Bert’s swear-y gibberish when dying, you’ll probably want to mute it after a while.

 

Gameplay & Content

The developers of Q*Bert Rebooted have attempted to make changes to the classic formula in an attempt to drag it into the modern era while still staying true to its roots – which is to be commended. Sadly repetitive content and a complete mis-fire on the controls makes the title borderline unplayable – such a classic gaming icon deserves better than this.

The game is played from an isometric perspective and has you moving Q*Bert between hexagons (in the original this was squares/cubes) to change their colour – doing this to all the hexagons in the grid completes the level and moves you on to the next. Little gimmicks in each level such as collectable gems (used to buy different skins) and discs you can ride to the top of a level add some slight strategy, but not for long.

Of course, any good videogame needs a good adversary and Q*Bert has many – from Coily the snake who hunts him down to the little spheres that fall at the top of each grid and slowly work their way down. You’ll come across increasingly complex variations of these as well as requirements to jump on hexagons more than once, with the idea being you need to strategize a few steps ahead, but this quickly goes out of the window once you realise how abysmal the controls are.

The addition of two extra directions (squares to hexagons) plays havoc with Q*Bert Rebooted as the main character simply won’t move in the direction you intend 50% of the time. It often isn’t immediately clear what button you actually need to press to move in a certain direction and once you do work it out it rarely registers – for example, pressing up and left on the d-pad will move Q*Bert only upwards at least half the time and thus he’ll plummet to his death, you’ll lose a life and have to try again.

You do have the alternative of analogue stick controls but this feels incredibly imprecise. The final option is touch screen controls which is the most accurate, but this means having your hand over most of the screen and feels incredibly cumbersome. The control issues turn what would otherwise be a bland, forgettable but functional game into an absolute trainwreck that I had no desire to play again after about 20 minutes trying to get it to work.

There are an absolute tonne of levels here and you’ll need to play them all three times to get all the stars, but why anyone would want to do this is beyond me. You can also play the original arcade version of Q*Bert in all its traditional glory, which is infinitely better than the main game but hardly worth the price of admission given that time hasn’t been the kindest to this gaming icon (still, I had a small amount of fun having a few goes with that).

 

Conclusion

At its best, Q*Bert Rebooted is a fairly boring puzzle game with a somewhat decent unlockable version of the title that inspired it. That interpretation relies on the controls clicking for you which they didn’t for me, meaning that at worst it’s a miserable frustration where you’ll die over and over through no fault of your own – which isn’t any fun at all. Hey, at least the original Q*Bert is available though!

2.5/10